Meeting of Minds

This early in the year and what position do I get myself into?

Group Leadership!

It’s not my fault… well, actually maybe I did have something to do with it. Something about my character that I can’t resist not doing.

You see, the groupings for reports were announced before Christmas vacation and all the time we had then was to set the meeting for the next year (today). So there we were, six of us in a circle in the Main building lobby, doing… nothing.

I had my mind set on being in the background after being heralded leader for every timid and apathetic group I’ve ever been into… but noooo… everybody just had to keep up their unrelated chatter and not even start a discussion on what we were there for. And with me being the eternal I-Don’t-Waste-Your-Time-So-Don’t-Waste-Mine person, I wasn’t about to let my morning go to waste by being stuck in this unproductiveness. I started the discussion once and for all.

Well…

I woudn’t exactly call that a discussion.

It was more like me trying to solicit substantial ideas from the group but is being bombarded by either mediocre ones or silence. And once I ask to elaborate an idea—ANY idea—they muttered (this group is the epitome of “timid”), they just take it back and say it didn’t matter.

I knew it from the start. It’s all formulaic and I can’t believe I fell for it again:
Step 1: Nobody participates until “Somebody” finally steps up.
Step 2: Nobody gives anything worth pursuing.
Step 3: The Somebody starts giving her own ideas, just to get things going.
Step 4: Everybody just agrees to her.
Step 5: The group ends up doing only what the Somebody suggested (and will suggest forever and ever until the end of the activity)
…much to that Somebody’s frustration.

That was exactly what happened. Anybody would think I’ve gotten used to this by now, but I’m not. I’m still uneasy about “leading”, especially since I still do not understand why everybody calls me the “leader type” when I’ve always preferred being out of the limelight (and still do).

I mean… People, this is a democracy, not a dictatorship! I can’t decide for everybody, and you can do something besides nodding and agreeing like dumb brainless assholes.

…

Now if only I had the guts to say that out loud…